Day 5 January 5, 2011 : Tough Day

Today started out tough and I’m so tempted to overeat. Here’s what happened: Someone who I thought would help me with my business just bailed on me. Actually they have been telling me how busy they were and how I couldn’t afford their services and such. Eventually they just ignored and avoided me. So now I got the message. I swallowed alot of my pride and kept silent as I waited for them to make time for me- because in my mind- I really needed their help. But that help is not going to come. I’m all alone and I’m not sure what I’m doing.

I’m afraid and angry. But I know now is when I have to trust myself and try to learn what I need to learn so that this project, which has been a labor of love, can grow to it fullest.

In my frustration and anger, I want to eat. I want to eat my feelings and let the flavors and textures calm me down and comfort me. I just have to be stronger than the craving. I’m not hungry for food. I’m hungry for help and guidance in this project. Help that’s not coming, I know.

The question I have to answer is, do I want to make my struggle harder or easier?? If I continue to overeat, is that making things easier or harder?

I’m not sure what the answer will be.

Prayer: God please stay with me, show me what I should do, guide my heart, my mind and my soul. Show me how to stay calm in the midst of a storm

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